Numb.

I’m feeling less overwhelmingly terrible than I was yesterday, but I feel like I’ve emotionally shut down.  I’m feeling numb and unmotivated - I have so much work to do, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to do anything.  All I can do is lie here, useless, browsing the internet because I can hardly concentrate for long enough to read a book.  And I’m not entirely sure I prefer the numbness to the depression.  At least with depression, I still feel human.  Painfully human, I suppose, but still human.  This numbness makes everything distant.  It makes every emotion that I express feel fake and forced, and so all of my interactions with people seem disingenuous.  I almost don’t feel like I’m really even alive.  I just feel cold and empty.